


Thomas Barrow's paper heart.

by Love_Creeps



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One-Sided Attraction, Poor Thomas, Suicide Attempt, first downton abby fic, sad thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 23:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13512375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_Creeps/pseuds/Love_Creeps
Summary: Thomas has realized what his heart was, it was something simple which isn’t much like himself and he’d like to say his complex unlike his heart it was simple.





	Thomas Barrow's paper heart.

 

> **_Thomas has realized what his heart was, it was something simple which isn’t much like himself and he’d like to say his complex unlike his heart it was simple._ **

 

_He’d fall for a boy, they would just take rip a piece of his heart and take it with them. some take more than others._

  Duke of Crowborough had taken a piece of his heart.it was that summer one he knows he can’t forget the whispered of a life he dreamed of being a valet for Duke and having someone to hold him in the late of nights.The duke wrote him all those letters that whispered even lovelier things. The duke had taken apart from him his hope he took most of that but even still it was still there after that awful man.

 

  Edward Courtenay, he was someone who he saw as a friend and someone he could have something more than a friendship and if they met under different reasons But still had taken a piece with him but it wasn't like the Duke.  
Who had ripped it slowly away, Edward ripped it away fast. He had such a short time with him but he had taken a part of that heart Thomas's heart but Edward had given him a piece of his own heart before Edward had left Thomas alone.

 

  And then there was Jimmy kent who had taken the huge piece of his heart than anyone else in his life

  He had loves Jimmy not in the way he loved Edward or what he felt for the duke.He saw who Jimmy was and he had hope when he knew Thomas that he felt the same, even if it wasn't loved he still hoped.when he had left he hoped they really would keep in touch but they didn’t after everything the kiss, the fair.He still loved Jimmy and being his friend was one of the only best things in his life but soon he left him alone only with his thoughts.

_But then their others who aren't really boys, he falls for a boy but people who treated him in a way, he never had someone who showed him love and those people gave pieces of their own heart to him be able to understand what it felt to be loved.It’s not being ripped from them, they neatly l cut a small piece of their own out and gave it to him GAVE not take._

One of those people is Sybil Crawley, they knew each other not as lady and servant as much but as two people who became friends.She was one of those people who cared, if he had died he know she would have been sad and that she helped him and was one of the first to give neatly piece of heart to him.

Anna Bates, she was the kindest person he’s ever met and  he only hated(or least tried too) when she was married Mr bates But even still she was kind to him when lady Sybil.she had hugged  him that hug even if it was small and barely a hug with just one of her hands on his forearm she rubbed gentle  circles there.when she did she gave a small also neatly corner of her heart to him.

Mrs. Hughs, she loves him(in a way a mother loves a son)she saw him as a mess, she listens to his story with Jimmy and him and she knows who he and she didn't seem to care that he liked men. she helped giving tea as she listens to him letting go and letting his feelings out as he talked to her. she gave him a part of her heart to him placing glue to where his heart and where that piece she gave him began.She had given him a motherly love he dearly needed.

Jimmy kent, he had taken parts of his heart but also gave some back it was much smaller than others who’ve given him pieces but he loved that part the most a man who gave him a second chance so they could be friends while it may have mean nothing Jimmy giving that small tiny part to Thomas it meant everything to the man named Thomas Barrow.

There was Ms.Baxtor, someone he tried to blackmail but, in the end, she kept trying to give him second chances and no matter what he did she was always there for him.When he tried to change himself and when he realized he needed help he went to her.Who he will always know she will try and be there for him the man who is like a moon which has a dark side but in truth really doesn’t.She has given him more than just a corner but a piece he needed not even Jimmy or anyone before could give him and he adores her for that.

And then there are the children, the Crawley’s children

they love him he knows with how they cling to him or how he was given gifts on his birthday it was nothing to everyone but a card with badly writing from all three of the children made his heart feel full for once but it's never really truly full. He adores them all he’d be there for them through thick and thin for them and he wouldn’t let anyone mess with them.He knows he’ll never have children of his own with the way his life and the world is working and his planning on staying close to them throughout their out lives maybe something like how Mr. Carson and Lady Mary are.Someone they can rely on if they can’t their own parents he wants to be that person to them. those children kept giving so young their heart will always be huge for themselves.

he realized how can people keep giving to him? he realized they always will have someone to give them love back.

Sylbe had everyone mostly the love of her husband Tom Branson 

Anna Has Mr. Bates 

Mrs. Hughes had Mr.Carson

Jimmy had everyone lady he met giving to him

Ms. Baxter even if she didn't realize it she has Mr. Mosley giving to her.

And the children had everyone given to them

_But his learn his heart is like paper that is what it is and it’s been ripped and glue and he has never given his own to others then he met Andy Parker, he tried to give small part to Jimmy but he never takes Thomas said he needed to stop trying to give his hearts to him he needed as much as he needed so he never took from Thomas but Andy Parker had._

He had helped the boy he wanted a friend and gave the little piece could to Andy. He was friends with Andy helped him get his money, getting him the job at Downton Abbey or trying to help him read.But it all came to be too much Thomas thought as he laid in the bathtub he saw people who took and left him He laid there with his wrist bleeding, blood gushing out and his vision started to blur the pain becoming too much.He hoped his body would be like his heart, like paper he hoped he would dissolve and that what’s ever little to the heart would go away like him.he soon started to fade out like paper licking up water, going dark in the eyes.he knew his world would end and he'd be free but before he truly could go he heard voices he couldn't tell whose voices 

his last thought before he truly blacked out was

**_"_ I _hope  they will be  too late"_**

****

 

**Author's Note:**

> I adore Thomas Barrow and been dying to write a fic about him I was hoping for a happier one but I still like this one
> 
> if theres any mistake I'd be thankful for you point it out to me! 
> 
> Thank you and I hope you enjoy this!


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